this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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