I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
