he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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