I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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