Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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