Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
