Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
