drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
