I love black thongs
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
