If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
