At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
