I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Randomize
