And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
