I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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