i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
