I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize
