he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
