i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
