Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I've blown a few things in my day
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
