I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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