My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
