And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
