So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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