Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
