I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
