from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I have fence marks all over my body
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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