I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize