so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
