I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
