kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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