very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
