Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
