HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
