I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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