How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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