Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. đ
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have âdaddy issuesâ. Fuck all of you.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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