i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
