I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
