i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
