UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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