i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
