for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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