Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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