the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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