My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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