The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
