your parents love me but you hate me
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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