Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
