She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
