And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
