is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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