He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
