You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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