this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize