You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
