mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
