I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize