i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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