is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
