Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
