If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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