i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
