He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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