I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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