How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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